Post the Fifteenth: Nasal Spontaneity

I enjoy being a somewhat spontaneously strange person. I like making odd sounds on a whim and I like bursting into made-up songs at the drop of a hat. Sometimes extreme joy, an excess of caffeine in my system or sheer boredom cause me to run around and move in inexplicably odd ways whilst singing "AROOOOOOOO" at the top of my lungs. I embrace this kind of spontaneity. It's fun.

When the dry winter months are upon us my nose also embraces spontaneity. It likes to surprise-attack me with nosebleeds, usually at very inopportune times. Sometimes it is as if my nose is eagerly waiting to spring one on me when I will be the most aggravated by it. Running late for the bus? Yes! Having a heart-to-heart with your partner? Boo yeah!  Wearing white? SHAZZAM! IT'S NOSEBLEED TIME!!!!!! I am thankful that my nose does not own a confetti gun, as I am sure it would set one off every time it pulls this prank if given the opportunity.

Well, I've had enough of it, and I'm issuing a formal complaint.

Dear Nose:

You are being immature. Grow up. I do not appreciate your spontaneity and you are not funny. You show so much promise and you are wasting it on this crude prank. Find yourself a new hobby. Examples of new hobbies you might take an interest in are:

1. Making snorting noises
2. Exhaling in a meaningful and dramatic way
3. Playing viola

Maybe you've never noticed this, because you are not particularly fashion-forward, but red is not your colour.

I love you, but...