I wrote this as a Facebook status to Canada, but I think it's really intended for everyone.
Dear World:
Let's get our act together, shall we?
Let's not elect politicians who do not respect the country they were elected to represent.
Let's accept accountability for our destructive actions and commit to making our next actions creative ones.
Let's acknowledge, accept, and celebrate our global citizenship.
Let's remember that this world is our home. Like in every home it needs
cleanliness, mutual respect, and proper communication in order to
maintain stability.
Let's accept one another as a family,
albeit a very large one, and treat each person with the understanding
and compassion they deserve.
Let's stop mourning our losses alone and start striving for improvement together.
Let's commit to each other and to this earth. It's our responsibility as a whole, and rests not on any one person's shoulders.
Accept responsibility. Spread the word. Take action.
The losses that we witness online, in the news, in our lives, are overwhelming. They are depressing. I think this is why we often choose to turn our cheek and alleviate our distress by pointing the finger at our politicians, by buying that chic eco-friendly dishware set, or by diving head-first into a big soothing pool of ignorance.
One day not long ago I decided to take action in my own small way and refuse to support meat production. I decided to go vegetarian and told my friends, family and co-workers of this change. When I informed them of this decision someone, and I will not name who because I do not hold them at fault for it, said that they understood and supported my choice but that they would be sticking to the idea that "Ignorance is Bliss."
Ignorance is seductive and deceptive. It's true that ignorance can calm the urge to wallow in despair when encountered with all the woes our lives and the critical state of the world. It is soothing and comforting, like a security blanket you hide under when your parents are fighting or like the Ben & Jerry's you devour after a break-up. Understandably it's a hard thing to give up. That blanket, however, does not change the fact that their is unhappiness in that marriage and the Ben & Jerry's doesn't change the fact that you are suddenly single. Likewise, ignorance does not solve the problem.
I like to take the ignorance route when it comes to finances. I hate hate hate dealing with money. I love buying new things and having grown-up things like an apartment and a phone of my own and a credit card. Then the bills arrive. And I have to pay them. And I don't make enough money to pay them all and I won't have enough money to pay them all in the foreseeable future. So sometimes, when it all just gets too scary, I take the unopened letters into my room and put them in a drawer, telling myself I will sort them all out... later. Then I walk out the door and move on to the more fun things in life. It feels soooooo gooooood. What a relief! If they're in that drawer, where I can't see them, they must not exist, right? ...right?
Wrong. The bills still exist. I still owe that money. I am still in a lot of trouble if I don't get my act together and do something about it. If I don't do something about it, and soon, things will only get worse. And worse. And worse. So eventually I cave. I open all the letters and read them. I finally take the call from my bank instead of pretending I'm not home. I listen to them, I apologize to them, I admit that I don't know what I'm doing and then I take the most important step of all: I ask them what I can do next. One step at a time I work towards paying things off, not all at once and not even a lot at once, but still something.
Here's the funny thing. The relief I felt, that blissful feeling I had when I pretended that the letters in my drawer did not exist and that I was a financially responsible and independent woman? It dwarfs in comparison to the immense joy I felt after I made a payment on my credit debt. That joy is genius. Drug companies can't manufacture euphoria that good. And it was so easy! All I had to do was look at the problem for what it was, ask for help, and commit to taking those baby steps towards a solution.
If we put slaughterhouses in a drawer and walk away it makes it a lot easier to eat that tasty tasty bacon. It's easier if it's just food and not a dead animal. Thinking of the conditions in which the pig that bacon comes from is depressing and depression makes a poor breakfast companion. But every time you buy that bacon it contributes to the problem. It says to the companies that run the slaughterhouses "I'm okay with this," even if when faced with the realities of what is happening you are not okay with it at all. That purchase gives them the green light, the shiny consumers' seal of approval. And like when those bills continue the be ignored, the problem worsens.
Likewise we gives shiny seals of approval to our governments when we choose to complain to each other about how their choices should be reprimanded and then give up on the whole thing by refusing to vote. That's putting them in the drawer. If you are unhappy with the choices being made by your government you have every right to call them out for it. After all, they are there to represent you. If you remain silent or keep your concerns to your close pool of friends how is the government even going to know that their not doing the job you elected them to do?
Okay, so after reading all that, if you're anything like me, you're probably thinking that that's a lot of responsibility. That yes, you want things to get better, but that all this is too much. It is just too much to handle and too much to deal with and how the heck are you supposed to affect change? You're only one person for frig's sake.
You're underestimating yourself. Your voice has a lot more impact than you realize, so long as you use it. It's not even hard to use. Social media has made voicing our opinions more accessible than it has ever been. If there's anything I took from the whole KONY 2012 debacle it's that spreading the word is easier than microwaving a pizza pocket.
This is all getting very preachy, so instead of continuing to type at you I would like to point you in the right direction. I'm starting a series of posts that will offer some simple steps, and I do mean simple, that you can take to help us all work towards a safer and pleasant world. I will continue to add in my own odd posts in between posts with steps for the future. For your own convenience I will label all steps-for-the-future posts "For The Future: <topic of content>".
Hope you like the series!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Post the Sixteenth: Dealing With Stress
Lately I've been feeling a little overwhelmed at work. I've been assigned a lot of big projects with tight deadlines. I like it, because it means that I am getting lots of hours and that my work days go by quickly, but sometimes it can be a little overwhelming.
Today, while I was working from home (there's a bus strike on right now), I had a moment of feeling like I just wasn't going to be able to do it. I wasn't going to have everything done on time and everyone at the office would consequently hate me just a little bit. I decided to take a break.
I had two options: Throw a temper tantrum, or make Cream Puffs.
A few years ago my sister-in-law gave me a most beauteous book: Cupcakes, Muffins & Baked Goods: A Collection of Easy & Elegant Recipes. It is one of those gem-of-a-cookbooks that has a photo for every single recipe. On page 52 is a recipe for raspberry éclairs and the picture is divine. Seriously, I wanted to eat the page right out of the book like some sort of demonic hobgoblin.
But for some reason I was scared of making them. They looked so dainty and intricate. Surely my troll hands would destroy them and surely I would be brought to tears any time I saw a pastry thereafter. So the book got tucked away in my stash of food porn so it could be ogled on occasion when foodies came over to visit.
Recently I rediscovered the book and, consequently, my love for those dreamy-looking desserts. Feeling empowered and ready to tackle something new I decided to make them. They were so easy to make and OH MY GOD WERE THEY GOOD! Choux pastry? Easy. Whipped Cream? Easy. Raspberries? Yummily easy. Lemony Frosting? Easy. Quick to assemble and even quicker to eat.
Conquering those fruity beasts filled me with a calm euphoria.
So, back to my decision. Temper Tantrum, or Cream Puffs?
The answer I came to is sitting in my fridge. Yummmm.
Today, while I was working from home (there's a bus strike on right now), I had a moment of feeling like I just wasn't going to be able to do it. I wasn't going to have everything done on time and everyone at the office would consequently hate me just a little bit. I decided to take a break.
I had two options: Throw a temper tantrum, or make Cream Puffs.
A few years ago my sister-in-law gave me a most beauteous book: Cupcakes, Muffins & Baked Goods: A Collection of Easy & Elegant Recipes. It is one of those gem-of-a-cookbooks that has a photo for every single recipe. On page 52 is a recipe for raspberry éclairs and the picture is divine. Seriously, I wanted to eat the page right out of the book like some sort of demonic hobgoblin.
But for some reason I was scared of making them. They looked so dainty and intricate. Surely my troll hands would destroy them and surely I would be brought to tears any time I saw a pastry thereafter. So the book got tucked away in my stash of food porn so it could be ogled on occasion when foodies came over to visit.
Recently I rediscovered the book and, consequently, my love for those dreamy-looking desserts. Feeling empowered and ready to tackle something new I decided to make them. They were so easy to make and OH MY GOD WERE THEY GOOD! Choux pastry? Easy. Whipped Cream? Easy. Raspberries? Yummily easy. Lemony Frosting? Easy. Quick to assemble and even quicker to eat.
Conquering those fruity beasts filled me with a calm euphoria.
So, back to my decision. Temper Tantrum, or Cream Puffs?
The answer I came to is sitting in my fridge. Yummmm.
 |
| The next Andy Warhol, clearly. |
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Post the Fifteenth: Nasal Spontaneity
I enjoy being a somewhat spontaneously strange person. I like making odd sounds on a whim and I like bursting into made-up songs at the drop of a hat. Sometimes extreme joy, an excess of caffeine in my system or sheer boredom cause me to run around and move in inexplicably odd ways whilst singing "AROOOOOOOO" at the top of my lungs. I embrace this kind of spontaneity. It's fun.
When the dry winter months are upon us my nose also embraces spontaneity. It likes to surprise-attack me with nosebleeds, usually at very inopportune times. Sometimes it is as if my nose is eagerly waiting to spring one on me when I will be the most aggravated by it. Running late for the bus? Yes! Having a heart-to-heart with your partner? Boo yeah! Wearing white? SHAZZAM! IT'S NOSEBLEED TIME!!!!!! I am thankful that my nose does not own a confetti gun, as I am sure it would set one off every time it pulls this prank if given the opportunity.
Well, I've had enough of it, and I'm issuing a formal complaint.
Dear Nose:
You are being immature. Grow up. I do not appreciate your spontaneity and you are not funny. You show so much promise and you are wasting it on this crude prank. Find yourself a new hobby. Examples of new hobbies you might take an interest in are:
I love you, but...
When the dry winter months are upon us my nose also embraces spontaneity. It likes to surprise-attack me with nosebleeds, usually at very inopportune times. Sometimes it is as if my nose is eagerly waiting to spring one on me when I will be the most aggravated by it. Running late for the bus? Yes! Having a heart-to-heart with your partner? Boo yeah! Wearing white? SHAZZAM! IT'S NOSEBLEED TIME!!!!!! I am thankful that my nose does not own a confetti gun, as I am sure it would set one off every time it pulls this prank if given the opportunity.
Well, I've had enough of it, and I'm issuing a formal complaint.
Dear Nose:
You are being immature. Grow up. I do not appreciate your spontaneity and you are not funny. You show so much promise and you are wasting it on this crude prank. Find yourself a new hobby. Examples of new hobbies you might take an interest in are:
- Making snorting noises
- Exhaling in a meaningful and dramatic way
- Playing viola
I love you, but...
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Post the Fourteenth: Alaska
I have a problem.
Every time I see a map of Alaska I cannot focus on the fact that I am looking at a map. I don't see the state at all. I see a polar bear on a broken barge that is on fire.
Don't see it? That's okay. I will show you, with the help of Paint.
See! I told you!
Every time I see a map of Alaska I cannot focus on the fact that I am looking at a map. I don't see the state at all. I see a polar bear on a broken barge that is on fire.
Don't see it? That's okay. I will show you, with the help of Paint.
See! I told you!
Post the Thirteenth: Thiiiiirrrteeeeeen!!!!
Sometimes I get superstitious. This is my 13th post. I think that by acknowledging the number and the weight it carries I might be able to avoid any potential dire consequences from having a Post the Thirteenth. Wikipedia is helping me out a bit on this one.
So. Thirteen. THIRTEEN!!!
Fear of the number 13 is called Triskaidekaphobia. Fear of Friday the 13th is called Friggatriskaidekaphobia, or Paraskevidekatriaphobia. Did you know that Tupac was pronounced dead on a Friday the 13th? Or that on a Friday the 13th in 1939 71 people lost their lives to the worst brush fire in Australian history? Just this month 16 passengers were killed, with another 61 injured when the Costa Concordia cruise ship sank on Friday the 13th.Friday the 13th is considered to be the most feared date in Western culture.
It is the smallest number with eight letters in it's English name. Don't let that fool you. It is a big number. It is extreme. What it lacks in numerical value it makes up for in terror and black magic.
It takes a minimum of 13 turns to make a noose that is strong enough to snap a neck. There are also 13 steps to the gallows.
The number 13 is said to be representative of femininity as is corresponds with the number of lunar cycles in a year. It is said to be dedicated to evil because the lunar calendar was "repressed" when the solar calendar was adopted. This does not surprise me. When I am feeling repressed I too feel an urge to dedicate myself to evil. All the evil. JUST KIDDING! *wink
Your standard coven should consist of 13 witches. (If I have a coven, it will consist of 13 unicorns) Thirteen is also the age at which those who are magically inclined traditionally start learning witchcraft (Hogwarts starts them off young. Dumbledore was a keener.)
The only unsuccessful U.S. mission to land humans on the moon was Apollo 13.
13 is considered to be the age at which one becomes a teenager. (No wonder it is considered so unlucky!)
Taylor Swift was born on December 13th.
There are 13 cards in a suit.
There are 13 kinds of love triangles.
A baker's dozen is 13, not 12. Why? Because bakers are good people and are on a mission to fill the world with buttery carb goodness. Or maybe they are trying to give their customers bad luck so that they'll come buy more baked goods to eat while they wallow in their misfortune.
I kind of like the number 13 (Hear that, 13? I kind of like you! So don't hurt my blog!) I like it enough that I am going to end this post by drawing a picture... in Paint.
So. Thirteen. THIRTEEN!!!
Fear of the number 13 is called Triskaidekaphobia. Fear of Friday the 13th is called Friggatriskaidekaphobia, or Paraskevidekatriaphobia. Did you know that Tupac was pronounced dead on a Friday the 13th? Or that on a Friday the 13th in 1939 71 people lost their lives to the worst brush fire in Australian history? Just this month 16 passengers were killed, with another 61 injured when the Costa Concordia cruise ship sank on Friday the 13th.Friday the 13th is considered to be the most feared date in Western culture.
It is the smallest number with eight letters in it's English name. Don't let that fool you. It is a big number. It is extreme. What it lacks in numerical value it makes up for in terror and black magic.
It takes a minimum of 13 turns to make a noose that is strong enough to snap a neck. There are also 13 steps to the gallows.
The number 13 is said to be representative of femininity as is corresponds with the number of lunar cycles in a year. It is said to be dedicated to evil because the lunar calendar was "repressed" when the solar calendar was adopted. This does not surprise me. When I am feeling repressed I too feel an urge to dedicate myself to evil. All the evil. JUST KIDDING! *wink
Your standard coven should consist of 13 witches. (If I have a coven, it will consist of 13 unicorns) Thirteen is also the age at which those who are magically inclined traditionally start learning witchcraft (Hogwarts starts them off young. Dumbledore was a keener.)
The only unsuccessful U.S. mission to land humans on the moon was Apollo 13.
13 is considered to be the age at which one becomes a teenager. (No wonder it is considered so unlucky!)
Taylor Swift was born on December 13th.
There are 13 cards in a suit.
There are 13 kinds of love triangles.
A baker's dozen is 13, not 12. Why? Because bakers are good people and are on a mission to fill the world with buttery carb goodness. Or maybe they are trying to give their customers bad luck so that they'll come buy more baked goods to eat while they wallow in their misfortune.
I kind of like the number 13 (Hear that, 13? I kind of like you! So don't hurt my blog!) I like it enough that I am going to end this post by drawing a picture... in Paint.
 |
| Mad Skills. |
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Post the Twelfth: Conversations with My Abdomen
A conversation with my abdomen from earlier this evening:
Me - Abdomen?
Abdomen - Hey, what's up?
Me - Oh, you are there! I haven't seen you in a little while now. I was starting to get worried.
Abdomen - Yeah, uh it's been more like a long while.
Me - You're right. Why is that?
Abdomen - ...
Me - Abdomen? Why has it been so long?
Abdomen - Err...
Me - It's okay, you can tell me
Abdomen - You're kind of a lazy lump.
Me - What?
Abdomen - You're a really lazy lump.
Me - That's silly. I dance and I walk practically everywhere
Abdomen - You last danced back in November
Me - Well...
Abdomen - And you've been taking the bus everywhere since it started getting cold
Me - That's only been going on for a little whi -
Abdomen - 2 Months. Almost 3. It's the end of January.
Me - Oh
Abdomen - And you've been eating like mad tons of craving-indulging food because of the holidays.
Me - Oh yeah...
Abdomen - And you live with the best baker in the world and therefore eat butter infused baked goods left right and centre.
Me - Okay, okay, okay. I get it.
Abdomen - You and I, we were getting along there for awhile. You were finally getting so fond of our friendship that you would even flaunt me from time to time.
Me - I'm sorry.
Abdomen - I miss you.
Me - I miss you too. Abdomen, I've been a really bad friend and I promise that I'm going to start getting you back to what you were. It's time for you to come out of hiding so I can share you in your full glory once more. Starting right now I am cutting back on eating crap and I am going to make a honest effort to get regular exercise and maybe even get back to dancing. Whaddaya say?
Abdomen - That sounds great, but uh... oh this is awkward
Me - What is it, Abdomen?
Abdomen - You're eating pudding cups for dinner.
Me - ... starting tomorrow then.
Me - Abdomen?
Abdomen - Hey, what's up?
Me - Oh, you are there! I haven't seen you in a little while now. I was starting to get worried.
Abdomen - Yeah, uh it's been more like a long while.
Me - You're right. Why is that?
Abdomen - ...
Me - Abdomen? Why has it been so long?
Abdomen - Err...
Me - It's okay, you can tell me
Abdomen - You're kind of a lazy lump.
Me - What?
Abdomen - You're a really lazy lump.
Me - That's silly. I dance and I walk practically everywhere
Abdomen - You last danced back in November
Me - Well...
Abdomen - And you've been taking the bus everywhere since it started getting cold
Me - That's only been going on for a little whi -
Abdomen - 2 Months. Almost 3. It's the end of January.
Me - Oh
Abdomen - And you've been eating like mad tons of craving-indulging food because of the holidays.
Me - Oh yeah...
Abdomen - And you live with the best baker in the world and therefore eat butter infused baked goods left right and centre.
Me - Okay, okay, okay. I get it.
Abdomen - You and I, we were getting along there for awhile. You were finally getting so fond of our friendship that you would even flaunt me from time to time.
Me - I'm sorry.
Abdomen - I miss you.
Me - I miss you too. Abdomen, I've been a really bad friend and I promise that I'm going to start getting you back to what you were. It's time for you to come out of hiding so I can share you in your full glory once more. Starting right now I am cutting back on eating crap and I am going to make a honest effort to get regular exercise and maybe even get back to dancing. Whaddaya say?
Abdomen - That sounds great, but uh... oh this is awkward
Me - What is it, Abdomen?
Abdomen - You're eating pudding cups for dinner.
Me - ... starting tomorrow then.
Post the Eleventh: Breaking News
This just in...
The Odd One Blogs has a Facebook page! See?
WHOOOOO whoooo woohooooo!! Yay! Wayoyahay!
All you have to do to stay up to date on the bloggin's of The Odd One is go to https://www.facebook.com/oddoneblogs and click the "Like" button.
You will get any updates we post right in your NewsFeed! SHAZAMM!!!
You can also easily post any suggestions you might have for The Odd One Blogs!!! KAPOW!!!!!
ARE YOU SO EXCITED?!?!?!?!?
i'm so excited.
The Odd One Blogs has a Facebook page! See?
WHOOOOO whoooo woohooooo!! Yay! Wayoyahay!
All you have to do to stay up to date on the bloggin's of The Odd One is go to https://www.facebook.com/oddoneblogs and click the "Like" button.
You will get any updates we post right in your NewsFeed! SHAZAMM!!!
You can also easily post any suggestions you might have for The Odd One Blogs!!! KAPOW!!!!!
ARE YOU SO EXCITED?!?!?!?!?
i'm so excited.
Monday, January 23, 2012
Post the Tenth: Touchy Subject
Okay.
I don't often like to talk politics because I think there is more to a person than their political affiliation. There are many good, warm-hearted and well-intentioned people out there who happen to have wildly different opinions than I do about politics. I place a lot of value in the right to one's own opinion and I don't really like preaching, which is why this post is going to be a little bit difficult for me.
I need to say something about taxes. It has been said before and it will be said again. It has been countered before and it will be countered again. I still need to say it.
Taxes pay for service.
Yes, taxes suck. They REALLY suck! I hate looking at my pay and seeing just how much money the government is taking when I live from cheque to cheque. What they take could pay more than my groceries and power bill.
You know what doesn't suck? Traffic lights. Properly paved roads. Access to a library when you can't afford to buy your textbooks for school. Having a police officer come make sure you're safe when someone throws a rock through your window. Your mother surviving cancer because the government paid for her chemotherapy and radiation. The government pays for these services (and many, many more). They pay for them with our tax dollars.
Why then are voters so inclined to vote for politicians that promise reduced taxes?
Reduced Taxes = Reduced Services.
"Oh the poor people of this country! They are hard at work. They earned that money and it is being stolen from them by the greedy wingnuts in office!"
It's true, we do work hard. We do earn that money. But it is not being stolen from us. The only situation in which it is being stolen from us is when a politician decides to write off a trip to Maui as a business expense (he needed the tan for his election campaign). When this happens complain away about your hard-earned money being wasted.
I can't vote for politicians who promise tax cuts. Sure, it would be nice to be able to put more of my pay towards my personal expenses, but if that means that the services we value are being hacked down to the bare bones or cut completely than it simply isn't worth it.
I value healthcare, safety, education, funding for the arts, care for the elderly, maternity.paternity leave, child care, ... the list goes on. What we each value may differ and how we value certain services may not be equal, and that is fair enough. That's why we vote. We each vote for the political representatives who place value in the same services as we do. If the majority of voters value A, B and C then, hopefully, the next party in office will be the one that also values A, B and C. Consequently, our tax dollars go towards ensuring that A, B and C are top notch.
Wouldn't it be nice though if we could have A through Z? Wouldn't it be nice if all of our public services were efficient and quality? If crime could be at an all time low and everyone had access to a good education? (Smarter citizens means smarter voters) If, in order to keep our free health care, we didn't have to cut back on another valuable service?
In order for us to have A through Z we have to pay taxes. If we keep cutting taxes we won't even be left with a quarter of the alphabet.
Educate yourself. Ask for info from your MP. Heck, ask for info from all the MPs! Get as much information as you can about political parties before you vote. Vote. Stop complaining about where your tax dollars are going if you didn't vote.
If you value public services don't push for more tax cuts.
Okay, that's it. That's my spiel. I value debate, so debate away. I don't mind if you contest my opinion, in fact if you do I encourage you to respond with your reasoning.
I don't often like to talk politics because I think there is more to a person than their political affiliation. There are many good, warm-hearted and well-intentioned people out there who happen to have wildly different opinions than I do about politics. I place a lot of value in the right to one's own opinion and I don't really like preaching, which is why this post is going to be a little bit difficult for me.
I need to say something about taxes. It has been said before and it will be said again. It has been countered before and it will be countered again. I still need to say it.
Taxes pay for service.
Yes, taxes suck. They REALLY suck! I hate looking at my pay and seeing just how much money the government is taking when I live from cheque to cheque. What they take could pay more than my groceries and power bill.
You know what doesn't suck? Traffic lights. Properly paved roads. Access to a library when you can't afford to buy your textbooks for school. Having a police officer come make sure you're safe when someone throws a rock through your window. Your mother surviving cancer because the government paid for her chemotherapy and radiation. The government pays for these services (and many, many more). They pay for them with our tax dollars.
Why then are voters so inclined to vote for politicians that promise reduced taxes?
Reduced Taxes = Reduced Services.
"Oh the poor people of this country! They are hard at work. They earned that money and it is being stolen from them by the greedy wingnuts in office!"
It's true, we do work hard. We do earn that money. But it is not being stolen from us. The only situation in which it is being stolen from us is when a politician decides to write off a trip to Maui as a business expense (he needed the tan for his election campaign). When this happens complain away about your hard-earned money being wasted.
I can't vote for politicians who promise tax cuts. Sure, it would be nice to be able to put more of my pay towards my personal expenses, but if that means that the services we value are being hacked down to the bare bones or cut completely than it simply isn't worth it.
I value healthcare, safety, education, funding for the arts, care for the elderly, maternity.paternity leave, child care, ... the list goes on. What we each value may differ and how we value certain services may not be equal, and that is fair enough. That's why we vote. We each vote for the political representatives who place value in the same services as we do. If the majority of voters value A, B and C then, hopefully, the next party in office will be the one that also values A, B and C. Consequently, our tax dollars go towards ensuring that A, B and C are top notch.
Wouldn't it be nice though if we could have A through Z? Wouldn't it be nice if all of our public services were efficient and quality? If crime could be at an all time low and everyone had access to a good education? (Smarter citizens means smarter voters) If, in order to keep our free health care, we didn't have to cut back on another valuable service?
In order for us to have A through Z we have to pay taxes. If we keep cutting taxes we won't even be left with a quarter of the alphabet.
Educate yourself. Ask for info from your MP. Heck, ask for info from all the MPs! Get as much information as you can about political parties before you vote. Vote. Stop complaining about where your tax dollars are going if you didn't vote.
If you value public services don't push for more tax cuts.
Okay, that's it. That's my spiel. I value debate, so debate away. I don't mind if you contest my opinion, in fact if you do I encourage you to respond with your reasoning.
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Post the Ninth: My Daughter
I am going to adopt this child:
Every day I will train her to be a master of Robot Unicorn Attack and every night at bed time I will sing her this song:
I just feel like we have so much in common.
Clip from Universal Pictures' Despicable Me
Every day I will train her to be a master of Robot Unicorn Attack and every night at bed time I will sing her this song:
Clip from Universal Pictures' Despicable Me
I just feel like we have so much in common.
Monday, January 02, 2012
Post the Eighth: A New Year
Wow! It is a brand new year! 2012.
Two-Thousand & Twelve!
I am happily enjoying a chewy, chocolate apricot cookie, having made no resolutions in regards to weight loss or diet. I am, in fact, happily enjoying a lot of things in my life right now, which is why I am so happy about this new year. For the first time that I can remember I am so very much at peace with who I am at the beginning of a year. That's not to say that I don't see any room for improvement (or for more sexy cat sweaters; they will always find a home with me) but I think this year I don't really need to make any resolutions to hold over myself until I forget about having made them.
However! In the spirit of the new year I would like to offer you some suggestions for resolutions that may be a little more obscure and more fun to partake in than weight loss. Here goes:
5. Build a Leprechaun Colony.
6. Build a Unicorn Colony.
7. Build a Colony of Lupricorns (Leprchaun-Unicorn half-breeds).
9. Gain Weight: It's winter and, if you
live north or south enough in either hemisphere, things are getting
chilly! Summer's a long way off to be thinking about how you're going to
fit into some old bikini you're going to want to replace anyway, so why
not put on a few pounds as winter insulation? Start your day off with a
nice big pot roast (if you put it in the slow-cooker before you go to
bed it'll be ready for you in the morning). On your way to work pick up a
big ol' buttery croissant from a local café along with a hot chocolate
made with double cream. A good daily lunch might consist of an Easter
ham (why wait til spring? they're delicious) or maybe a 5L tub of ice
cream. Afternoon tea is a must, with Devonshire cream, scones, and
breakfast sausages thrown in for good measure. Dinner = Deep-fried
Turkey Dinner with lots of Gravy. Feel free to nosh on bacon throughout
the day to keep you going. This method is guaranteed to help you put on a
few to stay nice toasty for the rest of the season.
10. All of the Above.
Two-Thousand & Twelve!
I am happily enjoying a chewy, chocolate apricot cookie, having made no resolutions in regards to weight loss or diet. I am, in fact, happily enjoying a lot of things in my life right now, which is why I am so happy about this new year. For the first time that I can remember I am so very much at peace with who I am at the beginning of a year. That's not to say that I don't see any room for improvement (or for more sexy cat sweaters; they will always find a home with me) but I think this year I don't really need to make any resolutions to hold over myself until I forget about having made them.
However! In the spirit of the new year I would like to offer you some suggestions for resolutions that may be a little more obscure and more fun to partake in than weight loss. Here goes:
Potential Resolutions for 2012
1. Beat ChocolateAndJames' high score of 2,147,483,647 on Robot Unicorn Attack.
2. Build the strongest fort known to mankind that can survive the End of Time, which the Mayans have predicted as being due to occur on December 21st of THIS YEAR! When you finish building it feel free to invite me to live there.
3. Prove the existence of Santa Claus. You know he exists but SOME people have been convinced otherwise by modern cynicism. Git yerself on up to the North Pole and find that jolly old elf! Be sure to bring some bribery for the reindeer. Blitzen could use some new Jimmy Choos (these ones are a safe bet).
4. "Adopt" animals at risk of extinction. The World Wildlife Fund offers symbolic adoptions of animals, which allow you to provide financial aid for the preservation various wild animals. They lists the following animals as being Extinct, Extinct in the Wild, or Critically Endangered:
- The Amur Leopard
- The Crocodile
- Darwin's Fox
- The Emerald Hummingbird
- The Gorilla
- The Mekong Dolphin
- Przewalski's Horse
- The Sea Turtle
- The Sumatran Rhino
- The Tiger
- The White-Cheeked Gibbon
5. Build a Leprechaun Colony.
6. Build a Unicorn Colony.
7. Build a Colony of Lupricorns (Leprchaun-Unicorn half-breeds).
8. Train yourself to watch this without laughing, peeing you pants, crying, staring in awe or running from the room:
10. All of the Above.
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