I am happily enjoying a chewy, chocolate apricot cookie, having made no resolutions in regards to weight loss or diet. I am, in fact, happily enjoying a lot of things in my life right now, which is why I am so happy about this new year. For the first time that I can remember I am so very much at peace with who I am at the beginning of a year. That's not to say that I don't see any room for improvement (or for more sexy cat sweaters; they will always find a home with me) but I think this year I don't really need to make any resolutions to hold over myself until I forget about having made them.
However! In the spirit of the new year I would like to offer you some suggestions for resolutions that may be a little more obscure and more fun to partake in than weight loss. Here goes:
2. Build the strongest fort known to mankind that can survive the End of Time, which the Mayans have predicted as being due to occur on December 21st of THIS YEAR! When you finish building it feel free to invite me to live there.
3. Prove the existence of Santa Claus. You know he exists but SOME people have been convinced otherwise by modern cynicism. Git yerself on up to the North Pole and find that jolly old elf! Be sure to bring some bribery for the reindeer. Blitzen could use some new Jimmy Choos (these ones are a safe bet).
4. "Adopt" animals at risk of extinction. The World Wildlife Fund offers symbolic adoptions of animals, which allow you to provide financial aid for the preservation various wild animals. They lists the following animals as being Extinct, Extinct in the Wild, or Critically Endangered:
Now you may think, oh, that's easy, I'll adopt an animal by sending a bit of money their way. But the real purpose for this is not to save the animals, but to collect all them nifty animal plushies. You gotta catch 'em all, and the only way of doing that is by adopting every animal on the WWF adoption list. Save up money throughout the year, perhaps by keeping a swear jar if you have a potty mouth or by skipping your morning Starbucks and opting to brew your own coffee instead. Start up a race amongst your co-workers to see who can get all of them first, and win. Do whatever you can to make sure you own ALL THE ANIMALS!
5. Build a Leprechaun Colony.
6. Build a Unicorn Colony.
7. Build a Colony of Lupricorns (Leprchaun-Unicorn half-breeds).
8. Train yourself to watch this without laughing, peeing you pants, crying, staring in awe or running from the room:
I'm afraid I've been neglecting my beloved Odd One Blogs this past week. I wish I could say that it is because there has been so much going on in my life right now or that I've been on some magnanimous adventure in some exotic location like Bali or the elusive Bermuda Triangle. I won't say that though, because I would be lying. I've been neglecting the blog because I have become addicted to a game called Robot Unicorn Attack.
Robot Unicorn Attack. Just the name itself gives me goosebumps. Wikipedia tells me that the game was released by Spiritonin Media Games on February 4th, 2010, but I only learned of it recently when all of my friends' high scores from the Facebook app started flooding my newsfeed. That's right; it's so good it's an app (Facebook and itunes).
The premise of the game is that you are a robot unicorn (that being a unicorn that is a robot) and you are running. You are given the tools of jump (Z) and dash (X) to help you keep running and to catch stars and pixies. If you fall, hit land, or crash into a star instead of dashing through it your robot-unicorn head explodes off of your body. The longer you keep running the more points you get. You get three "wishes" (lives) to get as many points as possible for your final tally.
There is a heavy metal version of this game that features a skeletal-like robot unicorn, death metal music and a morose colour palette, but I prefer the original version. The grass is purple, your tail and mane are rainbow, and as you get further in the game pink dolphins happily swim by. The cherry on top of all this epic sugar-coated goodness is the theme song 'Always', by Erasure. If you've never heard it before or seen the magical music video you are in for a treat. Make sure to watch the video in its entirety; it only gets better and better.
Song 'Always' by Erasure
The chorus is particularly moving: "Always I wanna be with you and make believe with you and live in harmony, harmony, oh love!" The harmony of which he sings is so life-changing he just has to sing it twice! All the harmony!!!
I hope you play the game (give it a few tries; it can sometimes take a little getting used to at first) and I hope it brings you every bit of euphoria that it has brought to me. The Odd One Blogs assumes no responsibility for any work that you don't get done as a result.
